Lies, deception, cheating, betrayal, out-of-control partying…as the former wives of rock stars, the Ex-Wives of Rock have experienced it all and have lived to tell the tales. Even though they are sometimes slow to learn from their past mistakes, there are a lot of important lessons about love, dating and marriage that can be learned from Ex-Wives of Rock:
1. If you describe your relationship as “tumultuous,” “unstable,” “in constant chaos,” “full of lies, cheating, trust issues, and substance abuse problems” — moving in with this person isn’t going to make things better. Take it from Bobbie, attempting to take your relationship to the next level when you don’t have a solid foundation to begin with will lead to nothing but trouble. Also, don’t be surprised if your friends start to question your sanity.
2. If your man acts up, make him take you shopping at the Chanel store. Okay, so maybe this wouldn’t work too well in real life but did you notice how much better behaved Sharise’s boyfriend was after he bought her two purses and was $3000 in the hole? My point exactly.
3. A relationship can’t work without trust. If you have to go to extreme measures like bugging each other’s phones or placing a recording device in your boyfriend’s pillow to record him with other women, maybe you shouldn’t be together in the first place. Cut your losses and walk away.
4. Don’t commit to someone before you really know who they are. Although Blue’s advice that you should do a background check on everyone you date may come off as a tad extreme, there is something to be said about really getting to know the person you’re dating, especially if you have children and are looking to move them into your home.
5. Sometimes your friends really do know what is best for you. If the person you’re dating is always making you cry and turn to your girlfriends for support, you might want to listen to them when they express their concern. It may seem like they just don’t like the person you’re dating, and while this may be the case, it’s more likely they are legitimately worried about your well-being.
6. Hang on to at least one photo from the time you were together. If only to say “I may have dated the loser, but at least I wasn’t the one rocking a frosted mullet in our wedding photos!”
7. Instead of beating yourself up, learn from your mistakes. Dating or being married to an “unreliable goofball” teaches you what you really do want and need from a relationship.
8. Guys come and go, but you’ve always got your girlfriends. Throughout the break-ups, make-ups and the curve balls of life, these ladies have each other’s back. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, always be good to your girlfriends. You never know when you might need them or they might need you.
9. There’s life after a really bad break-up. Do you think divorce has stopped these ladies from having fun? Of course not! See the break-up as an opportunity to take charge of your life, follow your dreams and reinvent yourself. Whether that means starting your own business or planning the “divorce party to end all divorce parties” in Vegas, do what you need to do to get closure and move on.
10. Don’t marry a rock star.
Simone Paget is a freelance writer and the author of Skinny Dip, a cheeky blog about love, sex, relationships and everything in between. When she’s not writing her heart out, she loves wandering around her city, large cup of coffee in hand, in search of the next great story.