The other woman. A name no strong, confident woman wants to be labelled, and yet, so many are. It’s a title that has the possibility of ruining one’s reputation – or at least damaging it.
So many “other women” are coming clean and sharing their stories on The Mistress, hoping that someone will help them walk away. Some viewers may be watching and wondering how these women could fall for married men; how any lady with a conscience could even go for a guy with a girlfriend. I’ll tell you how: some women are taken by the attention of it all — by a force and a need stronger than anyone can understand.
Since this happens more often than you might think, here’s what you need to know before biting the forbidden fruit:
Attention is powerful
To be pursued is nice. It makes you feel attractive, wanted and needed. But to be pursued by someone who is already taken, often gives the illusion that the person must really like you if they’re willing to risk their current relationship. In this situation, you are fooled by this idea. You feel extra special because this guy has lots on the line. The myth is that he cares more about you than perhaps he does about his partner. If that was the case, he would be giving you the title of girlfriend or other half and not hiding you. You deserve someone who will be an equal partner. Someone who wants to show you off and share their life with you.
Something is not better than nothing
We teach people how to treat us by what we’re willing to put up with. If you’re willing to hook up with him knowing he’s in a relationship, or like in Nina’s episode of The Mistress, willing to hook up with him based on his schedule (5:30am!) then you will continue to get that treatment. Why would someone put more effort into you if they can have it all without even trying? Don’t accept crumbs when you deserve a meal. Even when things eventually end, you’re teaching yourself unhealthy habits. You’re better off having your needs met than just accepting and putting up with what you can get.
If he does it to them, he’ll do it to you
So he dumps the girl and you and him become an item. As you’re floating in bliss, you are oblivious to the hurt he’s caused another. You feel extremely proud that “you won,” and landed the guy, but men like this are often looking for the next best thing. They lack confidence and they need to get an ego boost by getting women to fall for them. Honey, if he did it to her, he’ll do it to you – in time. These situations have more to do with him than they have to do with you, his ex, and his next conquest. The “I told you so” hurt is harder to bear than a normal breakup, since you should have seen it coming a mile away.
And for those of you still tempted to be the other woman, tune into The Mistress to see just how bad things could get. You don’t want to be in the same category as these women, do you?