You may not love her, but you certainly know who she is. She’s Sarah Symonds: a former celebrity mistress, known for her no-nonsense approach to infidelity. She’s written a best-selling (and controversial) self-help manual, Having an Affair? A Handbook for the Other Woman, and has appeared on numerous TV shows, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Anderson, Dr. Phil and The View. This fall, she goes from guest to guru in her own series, The Mistress (premiering August 29th at 8pm EST on Slice), where she will try to help women get out of their dysfunctional relationships.
Here, she sits down with Slice to share some secrets from the upcoming season.
Slice: What can we expect from The Mistress?
Sarah Symonds: A provocative, ground-breaking show, that will pull back the curtain – and the covers – on the secret life of the mistress.
Slice: What is your goal for these women?
SS: To give them a wake-up call! There’s a better life out there and they can be making better decisions where men are concerned.
Slice: Have any of the women from the show relapsed?
SS: Not to my knowledge.
Slice: Are the men involved in these relationships confronted on the show?
SS: Some are, but we are careful never to expose any of them. I don’t want to save one life at the cost of another, or hurt anyone involved. At the end of the day this is about the woman, the mistress — and about her journey.
Slice: As a reformed mistress, was there a particular story which resonated the most with you? Why?
SS: It is hard to choose just one, as all of them resonated on some level.
Slice: Do you regret your past relationships? Why/ Why not?
SS: Yes, ALL of them. Truly all of them.
Slice: You say wives and mistresses have a lot in common, tell us more.
SS: Because they are both sharing half of a cheating man (when the husband is having an affair of course). He is lying to both of them, yet getting the best out of them at the same time. They are both literally sleeping with the enemy.
Slice: What are the three types of cheaters?
SS: The “Serial Philanderer.” However good his life – and his marriage – is, the serial cheat will always need numerous women on the side to help fulfill and boost his huge inflated ego and his sense of entitlement. Most married, male, celebrity cheats fall into this bracket.
The “Mr. Wants to Have His Cake and Eat it.” This is the married man who actually loves his wife, and enjoys his marriage, home life, and their social life together. He would never dream of leaving her -or all that – ever. However, Type 2 needs to spice up a marriage that has become familiar and stale so he takes on another woman on the side to help keep his marriage ticking along, and to provide the sex (or variation) that he may not be getting at home
The “Genuinely UNhappily” married man. Either he married the wrong person/for the wrong reasons/the marriage has become unworkable. When/if he does meet the RIGHT woman he’ll have the integrity (for ALL concerned) to get out of his marriage in a timely & decent manner, and make a new life with the woman of his dreams. Many Type 3s go on to have successful happy second marriages and extended families.
Slice: What should a woman do if she suspects her husband is having an affiar?
SS: Confront him as well as do her due diligence first.
Slice: What should a woman do if she suspects her boyfriend is actually married?
SS: Leave his sorry cheating behind and run for the hills.
Slice: Do you think it is possible to save a relationship if there is a history of extra-marital affirs?
SS: If there is a history then no. If a woman stays with a man who openly cheats, he does not respect her and so it’s done. If it is a one-time thing though, then maybe.
Slice: How would you recommend moving on once a wife has been cheated on? What if there are kids?
SS: The wife does need to look at herself and see if there was anything she was lacking in that could have inspired her husband to cheat. If she is happy in the fact that she was the best wife she could be, then she should get the best divorce lawyer in town and get as much out of him as she can and move on, hopefully to a younger better model. If there are kids, I still recommend she gets out with her pride and self-respect. After all this is wedlock, not deadlock. If your husband cheated on you, kick him out. He can still be a father, just not a husband!
Slice: How do you recommend a mistress move on after an affair is exposed?
SS: Focus on getting her pride and self-esteem back. Do what it takes to move on, and try to love yourself again, so that you won’t ever allow yourself to be in this situation down the road. Follow my 13-step program and commit to never accepting the crumbs of a relationship ever again.
Slice: How can a wife reduce her chances of being cheated on?
SS: Act more like her husband’s mistress. It works!!
Slice: Should reformed mistresses confess their past to future suitors?
Slice: Do you think the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true?
SS: Yes, unless he is a type three cheater, i.e., the genuinely unhappily married man.
Don’t miss the premiere of The Mistress, Wednesday August 29th at 8pm EST on SLICE. For channels, check your local listings.