You have put absolutely everything into ensuring that your wedding day is perfect. However, there are some things that are simply out of your control, so rather than just accepting them, be prepared.
Rude wedding guests are those that don’t know their place and act in selfish ways, forgetting that it’s not their day. They think only of themselves and are not respectful to the bride and groom. You can try not to invite the people that you think fit this category, but sometimes they can’t be avoided.
So, who are these possible rude guests and what action plans should you have ready in case you have the displeasure of encountering one?
The guest who tries to steal your thunder: Yes, it is wonderful news that your cousin just got engaged, but using your special day to announce this is not only rude but very selfish. It is impolite of them to ask you at all, and put you on the spot. Be firm and deny any requests from others who want to steal the spotlight from you on your day. They can have their own party to make their big announcement. Don’t feel bad because I can guarantee you that they would be fuming if you had the gall to do the same on their big day!
The guest who insists on bringing a date: This is one that personally infuriates me. It happened to me at my own wedding and happens to almost all of my clients. If the invitation is addressed to one person, that means that person and only that person is invited! It does not mean they can bring a date, a friend, or anyone else.
Your guests must understand that you have made a list of who you want present. It is a very special and personal day and if someone is not formally invited, they are not welcome. If someone does ask to bring a date, you have to tell them that the guest list is limited and that you only want to include close friends and family. If they keep insisting, stay firm and if they threaten to not attend, then, accept the decline and realize that this guest is not a true friend if they cause this kind of unnecessary stress on you.
The drunk guest: Open bars are a staple at almost all weddings. With an open bar, the chance of guests getting drunk is pretty good. You not only have to worry about inappropriate behaviour, but also about their safety. Arrange for someone sober to make sure the drunk guests are put in cabs or taken home by others who have not been drinking. If a guest is disrespectful and gets out of hand, it is more than okay to ask them to leave. This is your day and no one should leave a black mark on it.
The seating coordinator: After you enter the reception, you notice chaos. There are too many people at one table standing around upset while some tables are empty. This is one of the rudest things a guest can do. When they get to their table, they don’t like (or don’t know) who they’ve been assigned to sit with, and then sit at whichever table they want. Or, they see some friends at another table and just decide that they will sit there instead.
If someone tampers with your seating plan, breathe fire! I had someone at my own wedding go up to guests and tell them about the new seating plan she created! If you do have a rude guest who decides he or she is the seating coordinator, stay away from the situation and get someone close to you — your Maid of Honour, sister or close friend — and have them tell the guest that the seating plan was carefully planned and will stay as is.
Whatever rude guest you may encounter, stay calm and get help from your family or close friends to remedy the situation. Whatever you say goes… and anyone who doesn’t agree can leave. These guests should not be welcome anyways, if they are selfish enough to stress you out on your wedding day!
Rita Wong is a wedding and events planner and owner of Rita Wong Events. Based in Montreal, she also plans many weddings every year for brides living in Toronto and abroad. She is a dedicated follower of new trends and her goal is to give each bride a wedding that is fresh, unique, and a personal reflection of who they are.