You’re hanging out with your man, when his phone makes a sound. He checks it with you in his arms, and there’s a message from an acquaintance of his — a female acquaintance. You peer down at the message, and though you know you should feel as secure as ever (especially because he’s not trying to hide it), you’re a bit bothered. We peg the other chick as someone who plans to steal our man – why else is she texting him after midnight on a weekend, with kissy face emoticons and a whole lotta chutzpa? It’s in that moment, when the emoticon is staring at us, that we have to decide whether to make a fuss about the message or not.
Truth be told, friendly flirting is common. Our waiter may engage in some flirty banter, as do many other people whom we interact with throughout our day. So what, pray tell, is the difference between innocent flirtations and flirtations gone to far?
If you are in a relationship, flirting has gone too far if:
- Upon meeting this new alluring person, you make plans to get together.
- If you hear from this person and you lie about who it is contacting you to your significant other.
- If – when feeling insecure about your banter with another – your significant other asks to see your conversation and you refuse to show it to them.
- If you feel like you have something to hide.
- If you tell them you’ll call them if you ever break up with your partner.
- If you go home with them.
- If they ask for your number, and you give it to them.
- If they invite you to an event with them and you go.
- If you arrange to see them again.
- If you don’t tell them you’re in a relationship when they ask if you’re single.
The reason the instances above are deemed “too far” is because these are things that we have control over. We can’t control what messages come through our phone, but we can control the messages we send. If the people we converse with think that it’s OK to ask for your number, to ask you out, etc., you should be more cautious and aware of the impression you’re giving. If you’re living the life of a bachelor when you’ve made a commitment to another person, maybe it’s time to figure out where your priorities lie and analyze if your wandering eye is worth losing a good thing over.