There’s nothing like a good cheating song to make me want to run home to be with my wife.
- Steven Curtis Chapman
Sometimes people share too much. Sometimes I share too much. More often than not, we tend to share more with people we don’t know that well. I recently shared too much with a group of women that I barely know. I wouldn’t call them friends but I know them enough to say hello and ask them how they are. What came of this conversation was something I never expected to hear.
One woman mentioned she had recently found out that two of her female colleagues were cheating on their husbands. (I sure don’t miss water cooler chat.) But, this was not the unexpected portion of the conversation. What she said after that kind of blew my mind. The woman proceeded to say that their “husbands must be a total jerks and not treat them right.”
Wait a minute!
Let me get this straight: The women cheat on their husbands and in a matter of minutes, you deduce that it must be their husbands’ faults?
If the roles were reversed in this story and it was two men that were cheating on their wives, they would be crucified by these women. The four letter words would be flying to describe them. They would constantly be wondering how he could do something like this to his wife.
Apparently, the number of women cheating on their husbands is on the rise. I found information on it in Psychology Today:
Younger women, under 25, and women over the age of 60 are cheating more than ever before. Male infidelity, estimated at between 50-60% of all males across a lifetime, has remained relatively steady. But female infidelity has progressively increased, to the point where current estimates put it between 45-55% for lifetime risk of infidelity by a woman, and some researchers suggest that female infidelity may one day rival male cheating.
Women are cheating almost as much as men, yet as a society we seem to still see them as the victim. I wasn’t angry at these men the women were talking about, I felt sorry for them. Regardless of past behaviour, no one deserves to be deceived and lied to like that.
Coming from someone who has been cheated on, no matter what the situation, it is always better to end it and save your dignity. Male or female, I have no respect for people who cheat. It’s selfish no matter what.
My question is: How is it the man’s fault in both situations? Are women less evil when they cheat? Does a woman cheating on a man hurt the other person less? Why is there a double standard?
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Dee Brun is the award-winning author of Libations of Life: A Girl’s Guide to Life One Cocktail at a Time, a cocktail chef and stylist, TV personality, home entertaining guru, writer, humorist, wife, mother of 4, TV Junkie, shoe-aholic, and borderline George Clooney stalker. Read her column, Isn’t it Deelightful, every Friday on Slice.ca.