A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.
– Arnold H. Glasow
‘Tis the season to cleanse, re-organize and start new. We clean, purge, recycle and attempt to reinvent ourselves to be better than the year before. We take stock of our diets, our home, our stuff, our work and our family, all with the goal of creating something better. However, do we ever stop and take stock of our friendships?
It seems the older I get, the less tolerance I have for crap — crap of any kind. Including the kind of crap that some friends can bring into your life. I am not talking about the kind of crap that can happen in life. We all have that, and that is when we need our friends the most. I am talking about the silly petty kind of crap. The kind that makes you say to yourself: “Self, I so don’t need this crap.”
Most of us don’t look at friendships the same way we look at relationships with our significant others. However they are just the same, minus the getting naked together part. We all grow and change as people, and we need the types of friendships that grow and change with us. We also need to talk to our friends about our friendship. Are we both getting what we need out of it? Is our friendship moving in the right direction? The bonds that we have with the people in our lives, affect us tremendously, so why not make them the best they can be?
A tense or rocky friendship can be highly stressful and even toxic in your life. Just like any relationship, friendships can also run their course. Also like any relationship, ending friendships is not as easy as hitting a tab on the computer, real life does not have an unfriend button. Breaking up is hard to do (insert musical montage), yet if needed, can totally change your life. It can lift a weight off you that you may have never even realized was there, because you were so used to it.
The goal of a good friendship is to be a loving, supportive and equal one. Both parties need to be getting good things out of it. We take time and care choosing our significant other, doing everything we can to make sure they are our perfect mate. Why should choosing friendships be any different? We should always take care and be picky about who we let into our lives and our hearts.
Life is short. Surround yourself with people that love you, support you and keep you grounded. Surround yourself with people you love, you want to support and help soar. If a friendship ends, it’s not a failure, it’s not just one person’s fault, it’s a fact of life. Things change. The hope is that it is a change for the better, even if we can’t see it at the time.
Take stock in your friendships and ask yourself one question: would I help them bury the body?
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Dee Brun is the award-winning author of Libations of Life: A Girl’s Guide to Life One Cocktail at a Time, a cocktail chef and stylist, TV personality, home entertaining guru, writer, humorist, wife, mother of 4, TV Junkie, shoe-aholic, and borderline George Clooney stalker. Read her column, Isn’t it Deelightful, every Friday on Slice.ca.