How old are you? Do you look your age? Are you offended by these questions?

I recently celebrated a birthday with a little shindig, and my fabulous lady friends and I got to talking about aging and what we can do to stop the hands of time from marching right across our faces. We all sheepishly polled the room and asked if anyone had had any “work” done. One woman admitted to having Botox a couple of times, but that was it — she was the only one.

The conversation then turned to the hypothetically fun: If you had the money to have any kind of “work” done, what would it be?

The next day, I did a little research. A global survey conducted by ISAPS in 2009 estimated that approximately 17,295,557 plastic surgeries or procedures occur globally each year, with the United States leading the pack. (Since 2006, breast augmentation surgery has been the most popular plastic surgery. Funny thing is, removal of said implants is also in the top 10 most common procedures.)

The latest trends in plastic surgery are chin, lip and cheek implants — not the J.Lo kind, the face kind. Chin implants, more popular in men, rose 71% since 2010; cheek implants and lip augmentation, both more popular in women, rose a respective 47% and 49%.

Just like the latest fashion trends, we have all seen these surgery trends being sported by celebs on the red carpet. Almost daily, we also see before-and-after pictures of some starlets with a caption along the lines of “Did She? Didn’t She?” What’s truly troubling here is that the patients are getting younger and younger. Hollywood-hopeful beauties getting these procedures done when they haven’t even graduated out of their 20s? Is it an addiction?

To answer my own question, I made a list of what “work” I would have done, in my perfect hypothetical world (where nothing goes wrong and recovery is a breeze):

  • Liposuction: a little body sculpting would be nice.
  • Breast Lift: not implants — just bring them back up a little, I no longer want to be a 34 Long!
  • Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation: 4 kids, need I say more?

That’s my list. Notice, nothing on the face. I have seen bad face “work” far too often and what is done can not be undone. It’s also your face — the one thing you can’t hide with a new hat or strategically place scarf.

Join me in my hypothetical world for a moment and tell me: What’s on your list?

Dee Brun is the award-winning author of Libations of Life: A Girl’s Guide to Life One Cocktail at a Time, a cocktail chef and stylist, TV personality, home entertaining guru, writer, humorist, wife, mother of 4, TV Junkie, shoe-aholic, and borderline George Clooney stalker. Read her column, Isn’t it Deelightful, every Friday on Slice.ca.