If you don’t ask, you’ll never know. Which is exactly the lesson viewers learned in this week’s episode of Million Dollar Listing; a small example of this exact phenomena. Realtor Josh Altman stuns viewers with his over-confidence, which seems a bit sleazy. Yet, halfway through the episode, I’m already (theoretically) patting him on the back for being a guy who doesn’t just take what he can get, he makes things happen.
Josh convinces a potential client to put two million-dollar listings on the market at the same time. Not only did he ask (and push a little) but his client ended up being happy with his view and perseverance. Real estate isn’t the only place where a little push can go a long way; it works in relationships, too.
So, how can you to get what you want in your relationships? Here are some of my best tips:
Ask
We often get so lost in our thoughts that we don’t even ask for the things we want since we expect the answer to be no. Nobody wants to get rejected, nor do we want to come off too strong by asking for too much, but despite these risks, it never hurts to ask. Not getting the response you’re looking for is the worst that can happen, but good for you for trying to take control of your situation and for asking for what you want. By asking for something (even as small as having a girlfriend meet you in your area for lunch this time instead of meeting her halfway), you might be pleasantly surprised with the answer.
Pursue
Once you ask, you may get an iffy response. They may not respond at all, or they might tell you they’re not sure. Know the difference between pursuing something and being pushy, you don’t want to isolate your friends or partner and put them in an uncomfortable position. Like in Million Dollar Listing, when Josh found out about the two houses, he asked if he could see them, wanted to know why the client was hesitant about releasing them both, and then asked to check out the second house anyways. If he had just said OK, he wouldn’t have gotten what he wanted. But by inquiring and gently pursuing it, he ended up hitting the jackpot — all in an honest, non-threatening way.
Accept
Once you’ve asked for and pursued what you want, it’s important to accept the outcome. If you got what you wanted, show your appreciation. You’ll make a better case for yourself in the future. People love gratitude and it’s important to share yours with others. If the opposite happens, don’t make someone feel uncomfortable for not giving you what you want. If you want easy relations with others, you can’t be a sore loser. Thank them anyways and hopefully next time they’ll be more inclined to give you what you want if they see how easy you are to deal with.
Jen Kirsch is a relationship expert, columnist and blogger. For quick tips and tricks, follow her on Twitter @jen_kirsch. Read her posts every Tuesday on Slice.ca.
