Sour Grapes
Hello fellow RHOV fans, I found this week’s episode to be … almost … relaxing in comparison to last week’s shrieking, legal-tinged snafu. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the fact nobody called anybody “evil”, but something was a little less nasty than usual. Now don’t get me wrong, things still got nuts, but slightly less insane than normal.
Here are the highlights:
Christina and Mia? Oh my!
Since Christina is supposed to be Mary’s BFF and Mia and her mom Jody just spent last week shrieking at Mary and serving her with legal papers, Christina feels like she needs to come clean and admit to Mary that she and Mia may have, um, bonded. Mary is visibly hurt that Christina enjoyed Mia’s company. Then … Christina says this:
“Jody did mention the fact that I should have a sign over my bed – something like ‘McDonald’s – Over 1 Billion Served’. I guess Mia would make one billion and one. I’ll take a side of fries with that … I don’t think Jody would be surprised to hear that Mia has slept with anyone, let alone me.”
Ummmm. Wow. Now this? This is going to come back to haunt us all I bet!
Prepping For Wine Country
The ladies are heading to the Okanagan Valley in B.C. to drink wine and prep for the release of Rehab, Ronnie and son Jhordan’s new wine. Considering one is threatening to sue another, this trip seems like an awful idea.
Then the omen gets worse as Reiko calls Ronnie and claims Jody overcharged her credit card by $2k, after Mary dropped over $30k in Jody’s store. (First of all – 30k!?! for real? Secondly … uh oh.)
“I said ‘if you’re desperate for the two thousand dollars, just keep it,’” huffs Reiko over the phone to Ronnie. Could a Reiko-Mary feud be brewing?
So, the ladies eventually slink into the airport to head off for their weekend trip. None of them – except for Ronnie – appear to be excited about the idea of being together.
Wine Weekend Kickoff
The ladies arrive at a winery and get ready to start guzzling right away. Then Ronnie stirs the pot and suggests they all say something nice about the person sitting directly across from them. Guess who’s sitting across from one another? Girl, you know it’s true – Mary & Jody. This is the most Mary can come up with as far as “nice” things to say go:
“I believe Jody has a lot of good in her … I just haven’t seen that side yet.”
Jody does a little better:
“You’re a great mom Mary, and you do a lot for Charity.”
Ronnie takes that as a sign it’s time to open the wine.
“Ronnie will open any bottle with a speed that is frightening,” trills Christian … and with that, the weekend has officially begun.
Magic Pyramids
The women are ushered into a pyramid space the winery apparently uses to give their beverage some zen or something. Their guide says he’s done the naughty deed inside the pyramid at its most powerful spot. (Or some sort of nonsense along these lines. We all think this is ridiculous, right?).
One by one the women hop into the magic centre spot of the pyramid and make a secret wish.
“I closed my eyes, I wished really hard, I opened them, but Mary was still there,” says Jody.
Spa Day
Nothing much happens during spa day. Mary and Ronnie get a body treatment that seems very similar to a car wash and Christina goes to a cold sauna and is pleased her implants don’t freeze. Nobody wants “boobsicles” do they?
Jody and Mia hang out together in the “serenity” room, but they don’t seem very serene to me.
Stomp
The ladies check out a how wine is made and stomp on grapes. In the midst of all this wacky hijinx, Ronnie tells Mary that Jody told her that Mary has 48 hours to respond to Jody’s legal letter. It seems like Jody is still steaming mad Mary supposedly said the product in her store is second hand.
Dinner Drama
The ladies take two limos and head off to Quail’s Gate restaurant, which looks lovely. What’s less lovely is the potential for a screaming fit.
“Every gathering makes me nervous with these women,” fusses Christina.
She’s not wrong to worry, before you know it Ronnie starts talking about the “elephant in the room” and urges Mary and
Jody to get over their disagreement.
After some heated comments back and forth, Christina somehow feels the need to add to the mix and mentions that Mia spent a night at her house. Mia is obviously furious. Oh Christina, that was stupid.
“Apparently I’m not in Mia’s good books anymore … can she even read a book?” Christina says.
Then, just when you think all hell is going to break loose, Mary and Jody seem to come to some sort of truce. WHAT?!!!!
The ladies tipsily stumble out of the restaurant and into cabs and head off into the night.
Don’t get too comfy though my friends.
“We buried the hatchet, but it’s a shallow grave,” warns Christina.
Apparently it’s so shallow the hatchet hops out of the grave next week when Mary freaks out at Ronnie for hanging with Jody. Stay tuned!
Stephanie McGrath is a writer whose work has appeared in the Huffington Post, the Toronto Sun, on CBC’s Definitely Not the Opera and… lots of other stuff. She loves TV and anything to do with pop culture, even though she studied some philosophy and other important things in university.
