And here we are again – right in the middle of an expensive (and stylishly dressed) ocean of drama. This week, the swirl of she said/she said revolves around Jody and Mary, but I’d say it’s pretty safe to assume the Ronnie-Mary brouhaha is about to boil over all over again, too.
Ready? Here are the highlights!
Calm Before the Storm
Christina and Mary go horseback riding because it’s “therapeutic” and Mary needs a respite from the nastiness she endured at the hands of Jody and daughter Mia during Ronnie’s bday bash last week.
Ronnie thinks things have been “tense” lately – NO KIDDING – so she arranges a dinner at swanky Japanese restaurant Tojo’s for the whole gang. (Do you think this will go well? I do not!)
Guess what? I’m right about the whole “not going well” thing. We kick the evening off with Jody refusing to “clink glasses” with Mary.
“It’s bad luck to cheers somebody who you don’t like, so I don’t cheers her,” shrugs Jody.
The whole “Mary may have wondered whether Jody was Jewish or not” business continues to make Jody steam with rage. However, if I had to play therapist (even though I’m not one of Christina’s horses), I’d say Jody just plain old doesn’t like Mary and is hanging on to that issue as an excuse for lashing out.
So, Mary just dives in and tries to straight talk with Jody. Her tactics are not the best however, as she goes on the attack right away and tries to get Jody to own up to being wrong for the whole calling Mary evil business that went on at Ronnie’s birthday.
Mary says Jody and Mia were “attacking like a pit bull”, says: “Jody you’re evil” and “Jody you’re absolutely horrific.”
Jody says something about Mary being 48 and needing to “own” what she says or something. She also makes a snide little crack with not-so-subtle plastic surgery accusing undertones and says Mary looked like a “blowfish” when she was saying her piece.
Meanwhile! Each and every lady – Ronnie, Reiko and Christina – take off and stand around outside the restaurant, desperate to avoid the Jody-Mary meltdown taking place (psstt: if you think Jody likes having her friends walk away from her fight, you thought wrong – more on that in a moment.)
Eventually Jody storms off. While Mary may feel empowered and happy she stuck up for herself, Ronnie has words of warning: “now she’s really in for it.” She’s right, there’s NO WAY Jody is gonna let this one go.
Remember when I said Jody wasn’t going to like the fact her friends left the scene of the Mary-Jody Tojo’s fight? I was right… AGAIN!
Jody calls a meeting with Reiko to express her displeasure at Reiko’s decision to stay out of the mess.
“You got up and walked away you lousy soldier,” says Jody.
In an aside to the camera, Reiko snipes: “Cause I’m a friend, not a soldier.”
Exasperated by the drama, and because she just seems like a nice person who wants everyone to get along, Reiko sighs: “Just be nice, that’s all.” Oooooooops Reiko, bad thing to say!
“I’d like someone to say a few things about you and see how you react,” hisses Jody. “Like all the cars you drive are stolen… how do you like that sweet cheeks?”
Fleeing Stormy Weather for Sunny Skies
Mary, Kevin, Marika and Christina decide to escape the craziness happening in Vancouver and head to Cancun Mexico. There are plenty of gratuitous shots of Christina trying on bathing suits (yes, yes she has a ridiculously good body) and a spray tan scene as they gear up for the trip. What’s most interesting – and ominous – is when we discover Mary hasn’t invited or even told Ronnie, her supposed best friend of 18 years, that she’s fleeing the city. This will come back to haunt her. Mark my words!!
When they arrive in Mexico, there’s plenty of drinking, relaxing and frolicking on the beach.
Mary thinks her fortunes are finally turning around.
“You know that saying it’s darkest before the dawn?” philosophizes Mary. “I think I’m at the dawn.”
Mmmm, sorry sweetheart, I don’t think you’re out of the woods yet.
Mary tells everyone about her plans to market and sell her Blue Tulum drink (don’t forget – Ronnie is working on selling a wine).
We see Marika look at the drink and start tapping into her phone. Hmmmmm, a text me thinks?
Another Storm Is Brewing
Beep Beep! Jody gets a text from – gasp – Marika – that explains she’s in Mexico with Mary who is showing off her Blue Tulum drink. We see the wheels going around in Jody’s head, this may be another opportunity for her to stir up some mess between Ronnie and Mary!
Jody summons Ronnie to a restaurant and gives her the full Mary-Mexico-Blue Tulum scoop. Ronnie is shocked!
“Wow that’s interesting cause I’m making wine… it’s so Mary to do something like that,” she huffs. “Mary’s like ‘what’s Ronnie doing?’ And then Mary’s doing the same thing.”
Cue the sound of thunder rolling in my friends, because the Ronnie-Mary truce is not long for this world.
Reiko is buying a bike. It’s going to be expensive.
Ronnie has a lovely moment with her two youngest children and emotionally explains how her daughter Remy was born very, very early and is special. It’s actually a nice scene. I will not do any mocking of it.
Best Line of the Night
“You’d think if you’re going first class you wouldn’t have to fill out all these forms,” says Mary about having to fill out customs documents in order to go to Mexico. Oh, so pretty and delusional.
That’s all for now! See you next week when we find out just how big a storm Ronnie and Mary are about to stir up.
Stephanie McGrath is a writer whose work has appeared in the Huffington Post, the Toronto Sun, on CBC’s Definitely Not the Opera and… lots of other stuff. She loves TV and anything to do with pop culture, even though she studied some philosophy and other important things in university.