Nudity is natural but not until a person accepts and loves who they are.
—Jolene Blalock

What is it with people and nudity?

I admit: I have an issue with nakedness; to be perfectly frank, I don’t like being around it. I was flesh-shocked at the fragile age of 13 or so, in the women’s locker room of our local pool. I remember the event all-too vividly: I was sitting on the bench in my towel, trying to organize my clothes in my locker, when a woman emerged from the shower and walked up to the locker beside mine with nothing on but a scrunchy. I am sure she was about the age that I am now and she proceeded to talk to me, naked. I have no idea what she said, because at the moment she put her foot up on the bench beside me and proceeded to dry herself, I was frozen in mind and body.

Here is this woman’s “junk,” exposed for all to see, right at my eye level — and she’s just chatting away. To me, she sounded like the teacher off the Peanuts cartoons… Waa wa waaa waaa wa wa is all I heard. I was like a deer in headlights — and let’s not forget those were dangling above me as well.

This was my first experience seeing a fully naked body of any kind, and it was not a fun experience. To this day, I avoid locker rooms like the plague (not just for the nakedness factor, but also the more literal “plague”/germs factor). I get a little uneasy when people change around me and I sure as hell don’t stage a flesh-fest in front of innocent citizens.

On the flip side, when I see people nude sunbathing, or see a little flesh-fest in a movie, it does not bother me at all. It’s the close encounters I can’t handle.

So, what’s the big deal when naked pics, usually celebs, surface on the internet? Why does the world (wide web) go ga-ga for quasi-nude ladies?

A huge scandal recently broke out that may even lead to a lawsuit over Kate Middleton sunbathing topless. Um, hello?! Have you ever been on a beach in Europe? You look out of place if you ARE wearing a top. People took to social networking sites, angry and mortified that a magazine would publish such a thing.

Hang on now: Where was the public outcry when a tabloid site posted pics of Prince Harry prancing around with his twigs and berries for all to see? When that happened, the response seemed to be, “Good for him,” “Nice to see the lad having fun.” Where is the lawsuit, the anger, the mortification over Harry’s loins?

Kate was sunbathing, with her husband, on vacation. Harry was playing strip poker with strangers in a Las Vegas hotel room. (OK, so, technically also a vacation. Still!)

Prince Phillip even got into the action when he sat a little too “laid back” (a.k.a. “commando”) in his kilt at an event. My mind’s eye shudders at the very thought. Nothing came of this but a chuckle, and probably a spike in eye bleach sales.

So, is the point here that it’s OK for boys but not for girls? Really?

Why is a naked penis more publicly acceptable than naked breasts? That’s not “junk” — that’s just crappy.

Dee Brun is the award-winning author of Libations of Life: A Girl’s Guide to Life One Cocktail at a Time, a cocktail chef and stylist, TV personality, home entertaining guru, writer, humorist, wife, mother of 4, TV Junkie, shoe-aholic, and borderline George Clooney stalker. Read her column, Isn’t it Deelightful, every Friday on Slice.ca.